It's funny how some days I feel I have so much to say and others I feel have very little. Today is one of those days I feel I have a lot to say. I have a lot I am happy and thankful for, many things I am confused and sad about and once again I am exhausted. I have been going non stop for the past couple of weeks and feel like I just need a rather long nap! Let's be honest though...how often do mom's get naps? So here is what my happy, thankful, sad, confused and exhausted mind is thinking about.
1. Today was my very last run as a team. It was very exciting and sad all at the same time. This has been a roller coaster of an experience and even though I am not much a fan of roller coasters I would ride it all over again. I have learned so much about myself through this experience and have met some of the most amazing people. People that have touched and changed my life forever.
Today's run was only 6 miles. How funny is it that just over 4 months ago 6 miles would have seemed like a ton and now I feel I could run 6 miles in my sleep. It wasn't however the easiest run. I am still struggling with my IT band and am scared to death that all this training is going to go to waste! The last 1/2 mile today was SO PAINFUL! I have worked so hard and pushed myself harder than I have ever in my life and I want nothing more than to accomplish this goal. I am praying so hard for a miracle right now, because if the marathon had been today I am afraid I wouldn't have finished! Of course though, all of you who know me know that I don't let things get in the way of my goals! I am going to finish, I will finish...even if I crawl across the finish line!!
2. Jake has left town again, and I miss him so much! I never thought that working for a bank that my husband would have to travel...I was wrong! The past 3 years Jake has had to travel a lot for work. I have adjusted to this and for the most part do very well. I try to keep busy while he is gone which isn't too hard with 4 children, but this time I just can't seem to get my mind off of him. I remember when we were dating and he had to go on vacation with his family and I bawled! I cried like a baby and he was just going to Disneyland!!! Today I relived that experience all over again. I know he will only be gone for a few days (5 to be exact...who's counting) but it feels like it is going to be forever! We are such good friends and have so much fun together. Today he surprised me at the benefit I was helping with. He is so funny. He called me on the phone to say goodbye and was pretending he was on his way to the airport when he was really just standing behind me the whole time. Can I just say...I LOVE THIS GUY!!! He makes life so fun and worthwhile. He is my very best friend in the whole world and I don't know where I would be without him! I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for such a wonderful husband and father!! Which brings me to my next thought...
3. I have a very dear friend who is going through a very difficult time right now. My heart is breaking for her and her family. I love her so much but don't know quite how to let her know. I have talked to her many times yet feel I always don't say what I wanted to. It is easy to distance myself from the situation since I don't see her that often, but still find myself thinking and worrying about her everyday. This weekend however I was able to spend a little time with her and her children and left with such a sad heart. I watched how her children played with my husband and children and found myself wishing that she could have what I do. I wanted to pack them all up in my car and take them home. I know they must be confused and sad and I wish I could make all of that go away for them. I love them all so much and just wish that they could understand things the way I do. I don't know where I would be in life without my testimony. I am so grateful for my family and for the gospel. I know that families are forever and am eternally grateful for this. I hope and pray that my friend and her children know how much they are loved, not only by me and many others but by their Heavenly Father.
4. I know you must be thinking at this point I am in major need of an antidepressant. Yes I have shed a few tears the past few days...o.k. more than a few, but I have so much to be grateful for and a love of life! I love my children more than I could ever begin to explain. I love my husband "to the moon and back", I love running, even with it's aches and pains, I love Bajio's chicken flauta salads (which can I add tasted very good today!), I love blogging and consider it great therapy, not to mention it just might have paid off for me. No I am not being paid to blogg, but I received an email back from Gregory Lang about my story. I am sure most of you know I sent him in a story for his new book he is working on and he sent me a response yesterday. He said is likes my story and would like me to elaborate on a few things. I am not saying anything is going to happen, but it is nice to know that someone who I consider an expert liked what I had to say. I love to write and can I add I love to talk or as I did today VENT! Thank you for reading, even if you now think I am absolutely crazy! I feel so much better and am now thinking it is time for bed! Until next time.
1. Today was my very last run as a team. It was very exciting and sad all at the same time. This has been a roller coaster of an experience and even though I am not much a fan of roller coasters I would ride it all over again. I have learned so much about myself through this experience and have met some of the most amazing people. People that have touched and changed my life forever.
Today's run was only 6 miles. How funny is it that just over 4 months ago 6 miles would have seemed like a ton and now I feel I could run 6 miles in my sleep. It wasn't however the easiest run. I am still struggling with my IT band and am scared to death that all this training is going to go to waste! The last 1/2 mile today was SO PAINFUL! I have worked so hard and pushed myself harder than I have ever in my life and I want nothing more than to accomplish this goal. I am praying so hard for a miracle right now, because if the marathon had been today I am afraid I wouldn't have finished! Of course though, all of you who know me know that I don't let things get in the way of my goals! I am going to finish, I will finish...even if I crawl across the finish line!!
2. Jake has left town again, and I miss him so much! I never thought that working for a bank that my husband would have to travel...I was wrong! The past 3 years Jake has had to travel a lot for work. I have adjusted to this and for the most part do very well. I try to keep busy while he is gone which isn't too hard with 4 children, but this time I just can't seem to get my mind off of him. I remember when we were dating and he had to go on vacation with his family and I bawled! I cried like a baby and he was just going to Disneyland!!! Today I relived that experience all over again. I know he will only be gone for a few days (5 to be exact...who's counting) but it feels like it is going to be forever! We are such good friends and have so much fun together. Today he surprised me at the benefit I was helping with. He is so funny. He called me on the phone to say goodbye and was pretending he was on his way to the airport when he was really just standing behind me the whole time. Can I just say...I LOVE THIS GUY!!! He makes life so fun and worthwhile. He is my very best friend in the whole world and I don't know where I would be without him! I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for such a wonderful husband and father!! Which brings me to my next thought...
3. I have a very dear friend who is going through a very difficult time right now. My heart is breaking for her and her family. I love her so much but don't know quite how to let her know. I have talked to her many times yet feel I always don't say what I wanted to. It is easy to distance myself from the situation since I don't see her that often, but still find myself thinking and worrying about her everyday. This weekend however I was able to spend a little time with her and her children and left with such a sad heart. I watched how her children played with my husband and children and found myself wishing that she could have what I do. I wanted to pack them all up in my car and take them home. I know they must be confused and sad and I wish I could make all of that go away for them. I love them all so much and just wish that they could understand things the way I do. I don't know where I would be in life without my testimony. I am so grateful for my family and for the gospel. I know that families are forever and am eternally grateful for this. I hope and pray that my friend and her children know how much they are loved, not only by me and many others but by their Heavenly Father.
4. I know you must be thinking at this point I am in major need of an antidepressant. Yes I have shed a few tears the past few days...o.k. more than a few, but I have so much to be grateful for and a love of life! I love my children more than I could ever begin to explain. I love my husband "to the moon and back", I love running, even with it's aches and pains, I love Bajio's chicken flauta salads (which can I add tasted very good today!), I love blogging and consider it great therapy, not to mention it just might have paid off for me. No I am not being paid to blogg, but I received an email back from Gregory Lang about my story. I am sure most of you know I sent him in a story for his new book he is working on and he sent me a response yesterday. He said is likes my story and would like me to elaborate on a few things. I am not saying anything is going to happen, but it is nice to know that someone who I consider an expert liked what I had to say. I love to write and can I add I love to talk or as I did today VENT! Thank you for reading, even if you now think I am absolutely crazy! I feel so much better and am now thinking it is time for bed! Until next time.
3 comments:
You are going to do great on Saturday!!! Take care of yourself this week. Let me know if I can help at all while Jake is gone. You are READY for this marathon. I just finishe d blogging about it myself, and I am getting really nervous - but YOU are awesome and YOU are strong.
Liz- I guess when you hear the words "seriously" and "whatever" a zillion times - they get stuck in your mind. You've brainwashed me! I didn't even realize I wrote them. I know that you totally own those words. I'll link them to you from now on! ;)
Liz~ok now I am crying. You are such a wonderful friend and mother. I often wonder how I got through my week without Ryan without such a companionate friend. I know that you carry a heavy load thinking about your friends changes but you have to trust that everything will be ok and workout. We all face very different trials in life, that is why we are on earth for right...I know that doesn't help and your heart aches, I am sorry. I am always here for you....if it's to watch you darling children, or a phone call in the middle of the night *who needs sleep*. I am so excited for you about the whole story thing...that is awesome and it couldn't have happened to a more deserving mother. Things always happen for a reason...we may not know it at the time but they do. You will do awesome next Saturday you have worked for hard and are such an inspiration to me. Let me know if you need ANYTHING. Love you!!
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